9 Comments
Mar 26, 2021Liked by kanishk pandey

This is a perfect example of the pitfalls of language. Within the zen-world, we use the word 'sit' for the practice. I find that word less intimidating than 'meditation'. It doesn't imply that one needs to be a thinker to process the complexities of the human mind and contemplate on it. We simply 'sit' with our thoughts. There's a certain beauty and poetry to defining a practice in that way.

Kudos to you for embracing the imperfections of your practice! As a spiritual seeker with a decade long practice, I still find myself grappling with that reality on most days. Yet, it is in those fleeting moments of emptiness between the thoughts that I find the magic and the learning. And that keeps me grounded in the practice.

I enjoyed this piece Kanishk! And I could clearly sense your frustrations with having to express such abstract thoughts/ideas using only words as your tool..

Expand full comment
Mar 26, 2021Liked by kanishk pandey

I am unfamiliar with this Derridean fella (I am sure he is a nice bloke, to quote PGW), but regarding the asymptotic meaning of words, when I wander into my 12 year old daughter's room and she says "Get out, please", I see no asymptote, just a clear command.

Relate to your frustration, but have you considered..... Oh, never mind.

I find meditation impossible to master, comes effortlessly to my brother. Maybe like the Philosopher's Stone, only those who don't need it, get it.

Or am I mixing up my legends?🤔

Expand full comment

Oh! You dear sweet boy! I realized, repeatedly, that words are limited and it is only when we accept them WITH their limitations, we actually free ourselves just a little bit more. Words, well language in general are the tools of communication. Like machines, language has a function and the better the working parts, the better the job done. The quality of the job, at least the way I see it (and teach it), is about the flow and the clarity of the idea that is being conveyed. This is why, even though human experiences are more of less the same, language is not. Even as I type these words, I am aware of the limitations of the words and perhaps my own skill at using them. I realized early on (and as I said repeatedly) that just owning the tool doesn't mean that I have imbibed the ability of the tool, like owning a chisel doesn't endow me with the creativity of a sculptor.

I love what you have said here, especially at the end, where you said that you still have to find your own technique, let alone give others a "perfect" technique. As someone who has struggled with calming the mind into a meditative state, I have moved through various interpretations of the term depending upon what my emotional and intellectual needs are at the time. As far as I can tell, you look like you are already well on your way. You are accepting the imperfections in the process, you are embracing the feeling that control is another word that has its limitations. In my books you have imbibed the word and are on your way!

Expand full comment
Mar 29, 2021Liked by kanishk pandey

pleasantly surprised to see you write about this topic, Kanishk. I think perfecting meditation is like reaching nirvana, whatever nirvana means right? :) these are such broad terms and subject to various interpretations. I don't think I am disciplined enough to sit and focus on my breathing to attain that blank page moment. But doing mindless jobs, like doing dishes and see that empty clean sink is satisfying enough and some how breaks my intense thought process too. I guess ultimately whatever calms us...

Expand full comment
Mar 26, 2021Liked by kanishk pandey

Kanishk, the trouble is with the word meditation. Sanskrit terms like japa, tapa, dharana, dhyana are all distinct practices with different methodologies and varied aims. All of them are subsumed under the single English word called meditation. And you were directed towards some of these by your grand uncle and mother.

Fortunately for you, your Indian sensibilities are available within you. Just need to awaken them. This is the wrong topic for a western mindset to fathom in a nuanced manner , especially while using the English language.

It is like trying to understand physics without maths. Makes it extremely difficult and counterproductive . Especially given the tools developed solely for its understanding.

I am glad you possessed the chutzpah to attack such a difficult topic. And your approach is indeed, fresh. Keep it up. But meditate upon it!😀

Expand full comment